Sunday, June 23, 2013

A Blank Cheque

She gripped on to the sleek, shiny 'mp3' player like a sword. With a stern, unwavering look at the empty hallway...she inserted the headphones, as if she were strapping shields upon her smooth, dark brown shoulder. 'It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles', said Buddha. The conflicts of one’s own mind are superior to battles in inflicting pain and creating chaos. That is apparently why Buddha had equated 'winning (singular) thyself' not with a single battle, but with thousands. She was going through one such worse battle. In reality, the most cruel of all, according to Buddha! Music would be her defense now!

A whiff of fresh breeze, splash of soothing hues from the horizon, mellifluous violin strings all have the same effect. Each one of them is a tranquilizer. They all immobilize thoughts. Her brownish-black eyes danced with the music- a ballad; her thoughts slowed down, her footsteps too. As she was about to exit the hallway...she heard a balmy, manly voice calling her, 'Imai...!' from behind. She turned around to lock her enchanting eyes at Guha Amudhan’s.

Oh! How did I even miss to include the most humanly entry of all, to the list of tranquilizers? It is...gazing at the face of your loved one. Imai Yazhini suddenly felt a lot better. But a streak of her worries still lingered in her beautiful mind. A spark is enough to burn a forest!

"Is it new moon day by any chance?"

Her misty, ethereal eyebrows twisted as cliffhangers and her roseate lips split to utter 'whaat?!'.  She did not expect such a question! So much out of the place!  Guhan brought himself close to her, he drove off the two strands of her elegant hair, which were fondling around her forehead-dance floor, with his right index finger...tucked them behind her left ear, then held her face. With a warm look and concern in his voice, he questioned- "then, why’s my moon so dull? If its not new moon today!"

On any other day... she would have rewarded him for his, this half-baked effort to appease her. She squinted and plainly ignored his question.

“Come on, sssgo, have something for dinner”

“I’m not hungry! Neither am I in a mood to eat.”

“Alright, you don’t eat, jus come wimme, watch me eat, and then pay!'”

“Shameless! All right, I’m coming. But don’t you dare ask me what's wrong or why am I dull!”

“Deal!” he slipped on a mischievous smile masking over his lips, right underneath his mushy mustache. They walked out of the hallway, traversed the street and strolled into the restaurant right opposite to where they had been standing and conversing with each other a while ago.

The elderly Asian waiter Huan regarded the young customers and guided them to a speck-less, white spreadsheet covered table at a corner of the hall lit by a glorious candle.

“Give us a minute before we decide. Let us first have two glasses of water, without ice, please!”

Huan beamed her talk-of-the-town smile, and let the young couple be in each other's company. The hall was adorned with various paintings of Buddha amidst perennial streams and gracious peacocks. No wonder they were reminded of their homeland India.

Guhan let out a sigh, and asked- "Whass the matter?"

"You promised, you won't ask"

"Okay, don't temme, if u don wantt"

Imai stretched her arms to reach and hold his hand. "I am a total mess. I am not able decide between two big things. I don't know which way to proceed."

"Regarding what?" though Guhan somewhat guessed what could it be.

"Are you readhy thu ordher?" Huan gingerly placed the water glasses on their table, only to realize that she was being looked upon like an intruder!

"I'll haveA fried rice, pleaseee...nnn what would..." as he looked at Imai when she was disapprovingly nodding her head. "Umm...An apple smoothie, please" he finished.

Once again they both were left alone. For a time he tried to learn what was wrong with his ever-cheerful girl.

"I don’t’ know what's next. I really don't know why had I been running so far and hard. I am done with my courses, and I am torn between whether to be here or to go back. I really can't decide", her feeble voice trembled.

He had never seen Imai like that before. She always had been a strong, brave and cheerful woman. A tuft of worries clogged his throat. He cleared his throat, "Imai, I am going through the same thing. Here...look at me...lets jus give ourselves some more time to think. Everything's gonna be just fine!" She gestured to stop worrying further. But, a stone thrown into a clear pond is sure to cause disturbance. And, the disturbance will last as ripples long after the stone disappears from sight. The ripples of confusion still reverberated in her thoughts.

He managed to make her drink at least the smoothie. He finished eating. All the while, they tried neither to think nor to talk about the problem. Superficial sentences were exchanged.

Finally, it arrived. The bill. And a fortune cookie!

A strange lightening flashed within Imai's soul. More than 10% of life is not a calculated-choice. Some call it luck, some name it destiny, while some do not even bother to name it! As soon as Imai's eyes were laid on the fortune cookie, she had made up her mind with a crazy idea.

"I am going to let this fortune cookie decide my fortune!” she exclaimed.

"Have you gone off your rockers? You let that 'thing' decide your future? Please, NO, don't! "

"Shut up! I have decided. If the cookie tells anything with a positive tone, I am going back to India. Anything negative comes up...I am staying here".

Guhan realized the seriousness in her voice; he also did realize the danger that was ensuing. He hurried to grab the cookie to prevent Imai from taking it. Imai read his mind; after all she is a girl! She flicked the cookie from the tray before Guhan could reach it from the other end.

"Give it back, Imai!"

"No, wait! I am GOING to read, no matter what"

Guhan did not want to create a scene there. He modestly let her read thinking that he can handle later. Imai slowly opened the cover, broke the cookie into two halves. For some unknown reason, she felt that she gained her composure back. She hid the small, pink, glossy paper string in her right hand palm and started munching and enjoying the cookie.

Guhan would not wait anymore, "Are you not gonna read? Get done with it! We need to leave "
"One must always wait and wait must one always has to do" she taunted him with her husky voice. 

She held the paper strip to her eyeball level. All of a sudden Guhan saw Imai's eye brows writhe as a pair of worms. Her pupils dilated. She let out a muffled grunt - "Are you kidding!"
Guhan's heartbeat rose, feebly "What’s in there?"

"Nothing!" she said without taking her eyes off the paper.

"Come on...Jus spit it out!"

"There... isss.... litttterally.... NOTHING IN HERE! The sheet...is EMPTY!" saying so she held it for Guhan to have a look at.

Guhan was amused. A seed of laughter fell in the corner of his lips. It slowly began sprouting into a plant, then it grew into a tree and then into a forest tormented by a nasty storm. He had never laughed so much in the recent past. Imai joined the laughter party, although she initially fought not to!

And then, a sudden, strange conscious struck Imai. She seized to laugh; she stared at the Buddha painting like never before, and let out the following in a thrilled tone.
"Emptiness is the root of existence. Universe was initially pitch dark and empty. But now everything is possible. Everything stemmed from nothingness. Any greatest-of-great sentence in the place of the emptiness in this sheet would have evaporated the ocean of possibilities.  Now I can imaginarily join the infinite, invisible dots in the white, blank space to create my own possibility, at my own will; and I can keep doing it again…again…and again! Yes, zero is infinity!"    


Imai was still gazing at the Buddha, while Guhan was completely enthralled...wondering his astute girl!

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