She gripped on to
the sleek, shiny 'mp3' player like a sword. With a stern, unwavering look at
the empty hallway...she inserted the headphones, as if she were strapping
shields upon her smooth, dark brown shoulder. 'It is better to conquer yourself
than to win a thousand battles', said Buddha. The conflicts of one’s own mind
are superior to battles in inflicting pain and creating chaos. That is
apparently why Buddha had equated 'winning (singular) thyself' not with a
single battle, but with thousands. She was going through one such worse battle.
In reality, the most cruel of all, according to Buddha! Music would be
her defense now!
A whiff of fresh
breeze, splash of soothing hues from the horizon, mellifluous violin
strings all have the same effect. Each one of them is a
tranquilizer. They all immobilize thoughts. Her brownish-black eyes danced with
the music- a ballad; her thoughts slowed down, her footsteps too. As she was
about to exit the hallway...she heard a balmy, manly voice calling her,
'Imai...!' from behind. She turned around to lock her enchanting eyes at Guha
Amudhan’s.
Oh! How did I even
miss to include the most humanly entry of all, to the list of tranquilizers? It
is...gazing at the face of your loved one. Imai Yazhini suddenly felt a lot
better. But a streak of her worries still lingered in her beautiful mind. A
spark is enough to burn a forest!
"Is it new
moon day by any chance?"
Her misty, ethereal
eyebrows twisted as cliffhangers and her roseate lips split to utter 'whaat?!'.
She did not expect such a question! So
much out of the place! Guhan brought
himself close to her, he drove off the two strands of her elegant hair, which were fondling around her
forehead-dance floor, with his right index finger...tucked them behind her left
ear, then held her face. With a warm look and concern in his voice, he questioned-
"then, why’s my moon so dull? If its not new moon today!"
On any other day...
she would have rewarded him for his, this half-baked effort to appease her. She
squinted and plainly ignored his question.
“Come on, sssgo,
have something for dinner”
“I’m not hungry! Neither
am I in a mood to eat.”
“Alright, you don’t
eat, jus come wimme, watch me eat, and then pay!'”
“Shameless! All right, I’m coming. But don’t you dare ask me what's wrong or why am I dull!”
“Deal!” he slipped
on a mischievous smile masking over his lips, right underneath his mushy mustache. They walked out of the hallway, traversed the street and strolled
into the restaurant right opposite to where they had been standing and
conversing with each other a while ago.
The elderly Asian
waiter Huan regarded the young customers and guided them to a speck-less, white
spreadsheet covered table at a corner of the hall lit by a glorious candle.
“Give us a minute
before we decide. Let us first have two glasses of water, without ice, please!”
Huan beamed her
talk-of-the-town smile, and let the young couple be in each other's company.
The hall was adorned with various paintings of Buddha amidst perennial streams
and gracious peacocks. No wonder they were reminded of their homeland India.
Guhan let out a
sigh, and asked- "Whass the matter?"
"You promised,
you won't ask"
"Okay, don't
temme, if u don wantt"
Imai stretched her
arms to reach and hold his hand. "I am a total mess. I am not able decide
between two big things. I don't know which way to proceed."
"Regarding
what?" though Guhan somewhat guessed what could it be.
"Are you readhy
thu ordher?" Huan gingerly placed the water glasses on their table, only
to realize that she was being looked upon like an intruder!
"I'll haveA
fried rice, pleaseee...nnn what would..." as he looked at Imai when she was disapprovingly nodding her head. "Umm...An
apple smoothie, please" he finished.
Once again they
both were left alone. For a time he tried to learn what was wrong with his
ever-cheerful girl.
"I don’t’ know
what's next. I really don't know why had I been running so far and hard. I am
done with my courses, and I am torn between whether to be here or to go back. I
really can't decide", her feeble voice trembled.
He had never seen
Imai like that before. She always had been a strong, brave and cheerful woman.
A tuft of worries clogged his throat. He cleared his throat, "Imai, I am
going through the same thing. Here...look at me...lets jus give ourselves some
more time to think. Everything's gonna be just fine!" She gestured to
stop worrying further. But, a stone thrown into a clear pond is sure to cause
disturbance. And, the disturbance will last as ripples long after the stone
disappears from sight. The ripples of confusion still reverberated in her thoughts.
He managed to make
her drink at least the smoothie. He finished eating. All the while, they tried
neither to think nor to talk about the problem. Superficial sentences were
exchanged.
Finally, it
arrived. The bill. And a fortune cookie!
A strange
lightening flashed within Imai's soul. More than 10% of life is not a
calculated-choice. Some call it luck, some name it destiny, while some do
not even bother to name it! As soon as Imai's eyes were laid on the fortune
cookie, she had made up her mind with a crazy idea.
"I am going to
let this fortune cookie decide my fortune!” she exclaimed.
"Have you gone
off your rockers? You let that 'thing' decide your future? Please, NO, don't!
"
"Shut up! I
have decided. If the cookie tells anything with a positive tone, I am going
back to India. Anything negative comes up...I am staying here".
Guhan realized the
seriousness in her voice; he also did realize the danger that was ensuing. He
hurried to grab the cookie to prevent Imai from taking it. Imai read his mind;
after all she is a girl! She flicked the cookie from the tray before Guhan
could reach it from the other end.
"Give it back,
Imai!"
"No, wait! I
am GOING to read, no matter what"
Guhan did not want
to create a scene there. He modestly let her read thinking that he can handle
later. Imai slowly opened the cover, broke the cookie into two halves. For some
unknown reason, she felt that she gained her composure back. She hid the small,
pink, glossy paper string in her right hand palm and started munching and
enjoying the cookie.
Guhan would not
wait anymore, "Are you not gonna read? Get done with it! We need to leave
"
"One must always wait and wait must one always has to do" she taunted him with her husky voice.
She held the paper strip to her eyeball level. All of a sudden Guhan saw Imai's eye brows writhe as a pair of worms. Her pupils dilated. She let out a muffled grunt - "Are you kidding!"
She held the paper strip to her eyeball level. All of a sudden Guhan saw Imai's eye brows writhe as a pair of worms. Her pupils dilated. She let out a muffled grunt - "Are you kidding!"
Guhan's heartbeat rose,
feebly "What’s in there?"
"Nothing!"
she said without taking her eyes off the paper.
"Come on...Jus
spit it out!"
"There...
isss.... litttterally.... NOTHING IN HERE! The sheet...is EMPTY!" saying
so she held it for Guhan to have a look at.
Guhan was amused. A
seed of laughter fell in the corner of his lips. It slowly began sprouting into
a plant, then it grew into a tree and then into a forest tormented by a nasty
storm. He had never laughed so much in the recent past. Imai joined the
laughter party, although she initially fought not to!
And then, a sudden,
strange conscious struck Imai. She seized to laugh; she stared at the Buddha
painting like never before, and let out the following in a thrilled tone.
"Emptiness is
the root of existence. Universe was initially pitch dark and empty. But now
everything is possible. Everything stemmed from nothingness. Any greatest-of-great
sentence in the place of the emptiness in this sheet would have evaporated the
ocean of possibilities.
Now I can imaginarily join the infinite, invisible dots in the white, blank space
to create my own possibility, at my own will; and I can keep doing it again…again…and
again! Yes, zero is infinity!"
Imai was still
gazing at the Buddha, while Guhan was completely enthralled...wondering his
astute girl!
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